Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
拙劣的翻拍之作，一直觉得开心麻花系比起银幕还是更适合剧场……布景不加考虑地照搬，剧情改得面目全非，立意和主旨都变了。至于喜剧成分，幽默和尬搞笑还是有区别的哈，而且效果最好的一段还是像素级复刻原版。魏翔很努力，但是演戏真就是很靠天赋的一件事，卯着一股劲演戏看着可太累人了，完全失却了举重若轻的松弛感
前半部是真的很好笑，男主对笑点的释放演的很好，值得一看，后半部没劲，玩着手机边听边看就行了。整体完成度算是可以。
前半段还是可以的，致敬雨中曲确实惊喜，也不尬，但是后面尤其第三幕直接乱套，草草收尾。魏翔真不容易，第一个男主，非常用心的表演。
没看过日本原片，觉着前半段挺有意思的，剧情让人眼前一亮，魏成功这个角色太有魅力了。自从父母到来，就一路走低，越来越胡来。可能是我在期待父母的角色能对情节有点推动作用吧。
开心麻花的品质和含腾量挂钩。翻拍三谷幸喜的《魔幻时刻》，没什么惊喜，也没笑出来。比《魔》更重的舞台剧感，还多了尴尬小品感。2022年春节档真的是没什么太让人惊喜的作品
魏翔演得有多好 这个电影就有多烂 大量网络段子的拼接一如既往成了如今麻花喜剧电影的故事结构 毫无惊喜的故事走向闭着眼睛都能猜到结局 倒也并不意外
多坚持了一次
这个文本魏翔的这个角色可以说全身都是笑点，一个戏痴的假戏真做，肢体和台词非常好地切中片中身份错位的剧情，也不会聒噪。按喜剧功能可能这正是春节档最值得花钱的片子，因为它真的有把我逗笑，虽然今年的春节档电影票是真TM的贵啊，党！6.4
是我不懂网上的梗吧…
没什么好笑的点，只看到魏翔真的很享受这部电影。
真是无聊空洞乏味，笑点都是靠夸张的肢体语言来展示，这应该是最低级的包袱了吧。尬就一个字！马丽演的不是女明星，演的是膀大腰圆。
看魏成功表演感觉像是在拆盲盒，你永远不知道他能给你带来什么惊喜
致敬了《教父》《雨中曲》《上海滩》《赌神》等一众经典，发现这些影迷梗的过程也挺有趣的。
剧情的不合理，与道德的不苛求，是笑点的来源。
加一星给魏翔结尾杀青片段，一把鼻涕一把泪感谢导演和投资方给他机会做男主角，感觉这是he版的喜剧之王啊，哈哈，给魏翔鼓掌～～
全片在各种貌似合理的氛围下，总是让人感觉有那么一些的不和谐..........到最后片花明白了，魏翔是真的不行........这片子说白了就是哄他玩呢......真下本........本来除了魏翔其他演员都很到位，我想给三星的，但转念一想，主角不行绝对不能算及格.......减一星！希望魏翔更加努力或者好好认清自己..........
虽然改编自《魔幻时刻》，但还是非常模式化的开心麻花流水线喜剧，有一些小品的笑点，大部分时间挺粗糙、挺尴尬，架空让整个片子气质变得非常可笑。
很体面规范的喜剧片，一年下来又苦又累总得看部开心轻松的电影解解闷，该回收的线索也收回去了，荒诞的笑声让故事本身退居二线，也是笑过之后才能意识到周星驰的天才和珍贵。
笑点不多，我先生记得最清楚的就是那句我不相信你会弹死我。
这电影跟春节就很搭啊，多阖家欢的剧情啊，最后从拍戏现场缓缓拉开的大幕恍惚间有种人生如戏的感觉
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